Yay, you came back! Since you know a little bit about me now, there's no need for a novel to be written each time I blog (but there's no guarantee that won't happen. I tend to get carried away). Whew! Now, down to business...
Ya know the book/movie "Tuesdays with Morrie?" Well my life is going to be titled "Tuesdays with Nancy." Nancy is the nurse who accesses my port and draws my blood each week, to make sure my blood counts haven't dropped too low to receive chemo. She's "been a nurse forever, before they had these cool ports." She is excited that I'm a nurse and my husband is a nurse so she doesn't have to explain what she's about to do (it's a sterile procedure). When I leave Nancy, we begin the waiting game for an infusion chair to open up. As we sit in the lobby, I look around the room at all of the other people waiting. I like to people watch. And I like to eavesdrop (at least I admit it!). We are all so different yet very much the same. Our common bond is that something is trying to kill us and we are all here with the intention to destroy our bodies and our minds in an attempt to out-smart this killer. Some of us will win. Some of us will not. Sad but true.
So, I finally had my second chemo infusion. Not nearly as nerve wracking as the first one and I was much more awake this time AND I had a private room this week. Despite only getting 3 hours of sleep the night before due to a marathon of NCIS-LA on the USA channel that I couldn't seem to turn off, I managed to stay awake through 80% of my infusion. During my awake hours, I found out that I went to high school with the charge nurse and that a gal I work with was in the infusion suite next to me getting treatment herself. Small world! As I perused Facebook and Pinterest and watched a little Bethenny and Dr. Oz, the chemo and other drugs infused into the little disc in my chest. Despite being so sleepy, the steroid they gave me prior to my chemo had me amped up. I couldn't sleep. That could have something to do with the chattiness of my infusion nurse as well (note to self...take earbuds next time). My sweet husband sat in the uncomfortable chair next to me, feet propped up on the biohazard bin, plugged into a movie on Netflix, oblivious to my boredom. I really should take advantage of 3.5 uninterrupted hours in a recliner. That's prime napping time. But I never was much of a napper.
This week's side effects are brought to you by Jack Daniels. Just kidding. Seriously though, I swear it feels like I 'm wearing drunk goggles. If you haven't had the opportunity to use the "drunk goggles" that some institutions use to teach kids what it's like to be drunk, you really should. Unless of course you know what it's really like to be drunk, then you get the point. I'm dizzy, my nose is stuffy, my throat is sore, my mouth is sore and my tongue feels like I took a drink of too hot coffee. Not to mention my fingertips and toes are slightly numb. And everything tastes like shit! And this vision thing is going to make me crazy. Everything is blurry! I took my son to school this morning because he missed his bus due to a bloody nose (again). I worried for both of our lives the whole way! I can see large objects, such as cars. But I can't read street signs or license plates. If it's further than 12 inches away, it's a blur. I looked up the side effects of Taxol (my chemo) and low and behold, blurry vision is a side effect (that affects very few people). Lucky me! However, blurry vision et al. vs. nausea and vomiting...I'll take what I got! I just need a seeing eye dog. I wonder if Jack, my very large Dane/Mix puppy, can be trained? Thank God for a teenage driver to chauffeur me around when the hubs is at work. Won't break his heart to tote his blind mom all over town, as long as it involves lunch.
“I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all good things still in my life.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie
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